You’ve just popped the baby out and now everything seems to be all about motherhood. Diapers, feeding, cleaning and everything seems to centre around the baby – sometimes your bedroom too.
But not so long ago, the bedroom was for a different kind of action and perhaps you’re wondering if you will ever get back into intimate relations with your Baby Daddy. Or perhaps you’re not even in the mood for that at all?
What’s the right timeline when it comes to post-pregnancy sexy times?
Medically speaking…
Of course, there is no particular set timing on when a woman should be having sex again after giving birth but doctors say that the first two weeks postpartum present the highest possibility for complications.
At this time, the body is recovering from the fatigue and soreness of the labour. Apart from postnatal discharge and perineal tearing or C-section surgery, you could be experiencing other physical effects from the birth such as vaginal dryness and low libido.
We can’t think of anyone who would feel sexy with all of the above symptoms but even if you want to get hot and heavy, waiting between four to six weeks is a reasonable amount of time for recovery. It also allows both Mum and Dad to get into their new sleep and feeding schedule with the baby.
Intimacy issues…
What if either party still doesn’t feel like getting on, way after the waiting period?
This is actually not an uncommon thing, with many women and also men reporting low libido or just mental tiredness or lack of interest in intimacy with their partner.
One thing for sure is that every individual and couple have different needs; what works for one may not be suitable for another. What’s important though is to maintain open communication between yourself and your partner and be honest about how you’re feeling and ask for support.
In some cases, it may be necessary and beneficial to consider intimacy counselling.
However, don’t confuse sex with emotional intimacy or love. While you may not be ready for actual sexual relations, there are many other ways you can experience physical closeness with your spouse.
Quality time together (away from baby), engaging in touch through massage or bath time together, having meaningful, heartfelt talks (again, not about baby things!), remembering to speak kindly or just holding hands like back when you’re dating, can reinforce how you feel for each other as lovers.
You can find Sex Therapists in our Directory.