Take it from a doctor, if you don’t believe us lay-Mums! As a family physician, board-certified lactation consultant and Mum to three children, 39-year-old Mythili’s holistic and compassionate approach to healthy mothering is inspiring to all. From giving birth at home, co-sleeping and preventative medicine, Mythili shares with us the Mum-tras that keep herself and her family going.
What has been the most memorable part of being a Mum so far?
Watching Keshav (11), Nikhita (9) and Shyam (7) grow up into kind individuals who show care and concern for the fellow (wo)man and love all (well, most!) beings on Earth, has been the most memorable part of mothering for me.
And time flies by so quickly. Sometimes I watch things they say and do and really wonder: where has that little baby gone?
You’ve had a home birth, and this is not a common practice in Singapore! Can you tell us what made you choose this experience?
I had chosen to have my third baby in the comforts of home. Keshav and Nikhita were water-birthed at Mt Alvernia, back when the hospital had water birthing facilities available. It was such a beautiful process; I (hypno)birthed them into the world naturally, and into the waiting hands of my husband.
Shyam’s arrival happened during a stressful time in the family, when I had just lost my dear father to a very sudden severe illness two weeks prior. My brother, who lives in Melbourne, had come back to Singapore to be with us.
So it became especially important for me to be surrounded by all my loved ones during that time. I also felt the strong need to have my two little babies (at that time, Keshav was 4 and Nikhita was 2) present. I had already been discussing the birth process with them up to then, with lots of drawings and storybooks. I had also explained to them that there might be blood and I might make strange sounds as if I were in pain, but that is the process of birthing.
It turned out to be the most beautiful birth! I mean, all three births I’ve had were amazing, but this one was extra special. I had all my loved ones around me, was in a safe place and free to birth in the way I felt best.
What would a Mum need to do or know if she wants to prepare for a water birth, natural birth or home birth? What are some of the available options for support?
I had the most skilled obstetrician in Singapore, Dr Lai Fon Min and an amazing team of doulas from Four Trimesters and birth photographer, Keidi Lim were present during my home birth. I’d advise Mums to find a doctor that supports their birth plan and do some research to get together a similar group of people involved.
You are the ex-president of the Breastfeeding Mothers’ Support Group (BMSG)? Can you share some of your success stories or memorable moments from your work there?
BMSG is a precious baby of mine. I was introduced to it in 2010 after the birth of Keshav by Ginny Phang of Four Trimesters as she felt that I would benefit from being among like-minded fellow mothers who believed in breastfeeding as a mode of parenting a child in this world.
I became a member of the BMSG and then went on to lead that group of amazing women. I introduced a new training syllabus for volunteer mothers to be peer supporters for other breastfeeding women. The training has been since updated with new information and has been infused with local elements now.
The group is now headed by an energetic and vibrant bunch and I continue to support them with the counsellor training.
As an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, how have you managed to help Mums during this time of COVID-19?
COVID or not, mothers continue to have babies and breastfeeding comes as part of this process. As life would have it, I am on a (semi-)sabbatical for the month of June and will start a new clinic in July with a bunch of like-minded folks who truly believe in nutritional and environmental medicine (NEM). But I still continue to see patients once a week at the Iron Suites face to face and do telemedicine consults on other days when needed.
What I am seeing increasingly during this time is mothers feeling isolated due to the lack of social gatherings, and lowered activity in mum and baby groups, and distance from family (especially for couples who are living apart from their close relatives). When mothers are stressed or mentally affected, their babies sense this and may also have trouble settling. This is when there is a vicious circle and the mother-baby dyad needs help to break it.
In your mothering life so far, what is the one product or service that you can’t live without as a Mum?
My multivitamins! I am a firm believer that we need nutritional support despite the food we consume. The vegetables we have are mostly hydroponically grown and are devoid of the minerals which are found in the soils of our forefathers. And as a vegetarian family, I need to be sure that the kids are getting all they need for adequate growth and development. Of course, it is a battle to get it into them!
As a doctor, I am observing the presence of a lot of diseases and auto-immunity which were much rarer in the past. This makes me wonder if the situation is related to our nutrition or the environment.
What did you wish someone had told you before you became a Mother for the first time?
To trust my own instincts! Everyone and I mean EVERYONE had something to say about everything I did when I was a first-time Mum and making a mess within a few months of having my eldest. Perhaps it was me being a noob or postpartum hormones but either way, my mental state was not good.
Since then, I’ve grown to learn that any mother, when supported well, will be able to care for her own baby. And this is my mantra for any Mum!
You are a proponent of co-sleeping. What would you say to a first-time Mum who would like to try, but has also read about common fears of co-sleeping?
Co-sleeping saved my sanity! It is having your baby sleep in the same room as you at night or could also mean bed-sharing: where your baby shares the same sleeping surface as you.
Bed sharing is only done safely when a Mum is breastfeeding (period). Breastfed babies rouse easily and there is an intricate, not-quite-understood relationship where breastfed babies and mothers sync their sleeping patterns. For those who wish to co-sleep, there are safe sleep guidelines to follow. If all the items below can apply to a Mum and her baby, then she is a good candidate to try co-sleeping:
| Mum | Baby | Both |
| Non-smoker | Healthy, full-term | Sleeping on a safe surface |
| sober and unimpaired | On their back | |
| Breastfeeding | lightly dressed |